Sleeping Alone
by horse703
Summary: **Spoiler for Midseason finale** **Some fan speculation** What if Rick didn't leave Carol on the road? What if she'd stayed and he'd announced to the group what she'd done? How will she react to losing Daryl? Read more to find out!
1. Chapter 1

CAROL'S POV

Sleeping alone after Sophia died was the worst part of her death for me. I missed feeling her body pressed against mine, knowing I could hold the girl, just for a bit, until daybreak. But now Sophia was dead, the prison overrun by walkers, and Rick's trust in me diminished. I felt so alone, it hurt internally. Not even Beth would talk to me. The kids were told to stay away from me, and not to ever initiate conversation. The entire group angry and confused at why I murdered Karen and David. But I knew. I knew David and Karen needed to die. They were sick beyond repair, and would have died anyway. Now everyone hated me and all because I tried to save their lives.

But what hurt me the most was Daryl's disbelief at the news. He'd looked so hurt, so shocked. I wanted to apologize, but all he did is glare at her and storm off. Rick wanted Carol gone, and I wanted to do just that. I could handle Rick's anger, but not Daryl. Not the man I loved.

I loved Daryl more than she ever loved Ed. Ed was always an asshole, thinking of himself before me or even Sophia. But Daryl did everything he could. From looking to Sophia when no one else would, to always being there when Carol needed a friend. But now he hated her, and was hurt beyond belief.

And it was all my fault. Do I regret burning the bodies? Not so much. It needed to happen. What I did regret was telling Rick. He ruined my life. I wasn't even angry at Tyreese, who has tried to kill me several times.

The Governor saved me. He attacked the prison as the group was deciding what to do with me. Tyreese suggested execution. Rick suggested exile, and Daryl said nothing. Not even a word of hesitation, just nothing.

The fight was awful. Our side lost a couple of ex Woodbury residents as well as Hershel. Their side lost much more thankfully. But now we're all separated, and I'm scared and alone with Daryl and Beth. All they keep doing is flirting in front of me, both well aware of my screaming emotions.

"You're not a bad shot Blondie," Daryl commented, a smirk on his lips as Beth wielded his crossbow.

"Almost as great as you," Beth teased back.

_Gag, _I thought, suppressing a huff of annoyance. There's an obvious stretch of age between the two, Beth being barely 20 and Daryl in his 30s.

Closing my eyes, I tried to focus on something else. Here we were, in the middle of nowhere, separated from everyone else. We had only a group of seven currently, with at least twenty scattered somewhere. Me, Beth, Daryl, Mika, Lizzie, Tyreese, and two other kids I haven't bothered to learn the names of. I thin one's Eric and the other Makayla but I am not sure. Fear coursed through my veins, what if everyone else was already dead? I felt tears spring to my eyes, but I quickly repressed them as Daryl praised Beth yet again.

It was so gross. I wanted to just walk away, but that would mean I lost. I will not lose to Beth. Somehow I will get Daryl's affection again, I just have to! Beth and Daryl aren't even compatible, I mean come on! One's a badass, the other is a brat. I know I shouldn't be saying this, and just be happy she finally stopped moping around about Hershel's death, but her constant squealing and complaining is getting annoying.

Lizzie and Mika have been acting odd lately. Mika's been waking up every night, having the same recurring nightmare of killing a man. Lizzie is quiet all the time, and way more fierce than she used to be. Killing a person causes some weird effects, let me just say. The two other kids are also pretty shaken up, and scared all the time. I don't blame them.

Who even knows where the bus went. We were suspecting Woodbury, but none of us know how to get there. And Woodbury has way too many bad memories, I don't think anyone would want to go there.

Meanwhile Tyreese is probably going to kill me soon. I hope not in front of the kids, they've already been through too much. I know he hates me more than he hates walkers, but I don't really care at this point. Tyreese isn't Daryl.

I'm so exhausted; I haven't been sleeping well lately. Not in the small tent Daryl found that fits only six of us at one time. Daryl and Tyreese take turns on shifts, not trusting me, and letting the kids and Beth sleep. But the tent is so small; everyone's body is much too close for comfort. I sleep maybe two hours before we have to get up and keep moving. No one knows if we should stay in the area or flee, but we're staying for now.

I still can't pinpoint how easy it was to kill Karen and David. I didn't even have to think about it, as soon as the thought came into my mind, I had to follow it. I'm a little scared at my new personality, as it seems to have little depth. I don't want to kill for fun. It makes Daryl hate me. I'm so sorry Daryl. I love you.

**First chapter of a new Caryl story up! Yay! Next chapter will be longer, I promise! I hope you guys enjoyed :)**

**-Cosmo**


	2. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**I got some *deleted* reviews saying Carol was a weakling and I portrayed her wrong and Daryl and the group mistreat her and Beth is some glorified b*****, and I just wanted to say, calm down. Please. It's the first chapter, the exposition. Carol isn't weak, she's staying out of the warpath. Daryl is hurt that she killed two people, and needs some time before he can trust her again. Keep in mind, she did KILL TWO PEOPLE. And as for Beth, she and Daryl aren't even close to being significant others! We don't even know if it exists yet! I know it seems like I'm overreacting, but when my email's inbox is spammed with messages like "Omg!11!111 Carol is so weak and i hate ur story and ur a b**** for writing a story the way u want to," I get a little angry. Maybe in two or three chapters, if you don't like the way I'm going, please let me know and I'll consider it, but when you have a story that is only on its first chapter, please.**

****I love constructive criticism. Please send me ideas on how to make my stories better without calling me names or saying my story is awful and shouldn't be tagged as 'Caryl.'****

**Thanks for all the follows and favorites! It makes my day to see those! :3**

**I will post Chapter 2 in a bit so be ready! ;p**

**-Cosmo**


	3. Chapter 2

I had another nightmare. Chasing Sophia into the woods, but she was just so much faster. When she disappeared beyond the horizon and heard her scream, I lurched awake. Sweat slipping down my forehead and my chest moving up and down, as I breathed quickly. I hate that nightmare, but I have it almost every night now. I don't even think the scream is Sophia's, but I can never tell in my dream.

I looked outside. The sun was just rising, just breaking the horizon spilling out pink and blue. The bright orange blob in the sky seemed to be mocking me. No matter how much I hate it, it rises everyday shedding light on the torn and broken world.

Lost in thought, I didn't even hear Tyreese and Daryl until they came closer. I was still tucked in the tent, trapped between two kids. I couldn't even tell who they were.

"You've got to kick her out. Do we really trust her with the kids?" the gruff voice of Tyreese sounded.

I shoved my head onto the pillow, pretending to still be sleeping. I know eavesdropping is wrong, but come on. Like you wouldn't do the same.

"We can't. I'm ain't just dumping anybody off in the middle of nowhere with no supplies. And how will we explain _that _to the kids?" Daryl answered.

I hated the way Daryl spoke to me as if I was someone he never knew. Like I was some stranger they picked up out of pity and were ready to drop as soon as they found the chance. I was as disposable as a pet goldfish.

"She's a danger to the kids. Lizzie is still running a slight fever. Who knows what'll set Carol off. We don't even need her," Tyreese argued.

"We might in a while. She's useful Ty," Daryl replied.

"Until she gets set off again," Tyreese muttered.

The two became quiet for a but until Tyreese spoke up.

"She killed Karen. In all honesty I want Carol dead too. To pay for what she did."

"I know how you feel. When I saw Merle dead I wanted nothing more than the Governor dead. But then when he died I felt nothing. The revenge was for nothing. Merle's still dead and so is Karen. There's nothing we can do."

"What if she kills someone else?"

"Who says she will?"

"Who says she won't?" Tyreese pressed. His anger was beginning to completely fill his voice.

I guess I should've been crying at the fact that two men were talking about practically killing me right in front of me, but I didn't . I didn't feel a need to cry.

"But we won't know Ty, if we kill her we might regret it, if we don't we might regret it. And I don't know about you, but I don't wanna kill er."

I noted Tyreese's silence and could imagine his glaring expression very vivdly.

"I want her dead more than you could ever guess, but at the same time I don't think I could do it."

That day was an exhausting one. We never stopped walking unless it was for food, water, or bathroom. Every tree looked the same, I think we're walking in circles, but I don't dare speak up. I know I can't without getting Tyreese's death stare and Daryl's hurt expression. I don't think they'll listen to me anyway.

The kids have been silent too. The sound of whispers and giggles is usually heard, but not today. All four seem to be in a trance of sorts, looking up only to make sure they were still keeping pace with the adults.

I looked to Lizzie. Lizzie and Mika were the only two of the entire group who actually still talk to me. We'd all been close before I confessed to Rick, and it stayed that way even after I confessed what I did to them. Lizzie was a bit more accepting than Mika, saying it needed to be done and it was for a good cause. That surprised me, as you'd think a child would be a little more afraid or shocked. But she had that calm expression on her face as I confessed to my murders, as if she wasn't even the least surprised.

I looked back up to see Tyreese and Beth talking about who knows what. Then my eyes moved to Daryl. Sweat was beading on his forehead, dripping down his face and off his chin. His eyes were so focused ahead, I know he wanted to find the others as quickly as possible. His mouth was curved downward in a half frown, and his right arm was near the crossbow that was always on him. His rugged jacket was even more torn up after the Governor's attack, and he always sported new wounds. I just wish they'd let me help them clean their wounds and keep them safe. I was only allowed a small pistol that takes forever to reload.

I wish I had the courage to go and start a conversation, but I knew the results. I'd be shot down, talked down to, and probably indirectly told to go away. I'd be more comfortable staying here and thinking about how I need to regain their trust.

"Carol," a voice sounded beside me. There was Mika, tugging at the bottom of my shirt.

"What's wrong?" I asked, hoping the girl was alright.

"I think we've been here before," she responded, her voice getting softer. She pointed to my left. I turned my head and sighed.

"We've been here before," I spoke loudly, getting Daryl, Tyreese, and Beth's attentions.

"What?" Tyreese spat, anger and disbelief flowing out of his tone.

"Look," I said, pointing to the empty campfire we'd set that night. I knew it was ours by the can of opened beans lying beside it.

"Shit! How did _you _get us lost?" Tyreese asked.

"I been thinkin bout something else," Daryl admitted, glaring at me. Wow. Way to be discreet Daryl.

"Well what now?" Beth asked, her small voice almost laughable after the men's deeper ones.

Daryl and Tyreese looked to each other for a moment.

"We keep moving another-"

'No,": I said cutting Daryl off. "It's almost nightfall. We've walked in a giant circle all day and no signs of anyone. The kids are tired and so are we, we need rest."

If looks could kill, I'd be six feet under after that outburst. Three knives were digging into my flesh as I speak. All from three pairs of eyes.

"I am pretty tired," Mika added timidly, with two more nodding heads added to the bunch.

"Alright, let's set up camp," Tyreese spoke, disgust and hatred directed to me.

I guess this is how I'm going to be treated for the rest of my time with the group. Why don't I just leave? I know exactly why though. If I leave, I'll end up like Amy and Andrea and T-Dog. I'll be dead just like Karen and David. And I'm sure as hell not giving up now.

**Kept my promise didn't I? Posted a longer chapter and today! For all those who may have skipped the A/N, I really wanna thank all of you for the follows and favorites and kind reviews. You've made my day! **

*****Just noticed I have to approve reviews. I will allow all the comments to be seen, because honestly, I don't even care*****

**I need to explain some things about my fic**

**1. Carol killing the two is canon here. She did kill Karen and David.**

**2. Daryl and Beth were only seen flirting in Carol's mind. They may have not actually been *HINT***

**3. DARYL IS HURT. He isn't going to forgive easily. Neither is Ty or anyone else in the group**

**4. Note the summary *Fan Speculation* part. This is what I believe happened with Carol.**

**5. We know Daryl isn't a fan of confrontation when emotions are involved. Not even when Merle died did he really open up. Do you think he'd even be willing now?**

**Thanks guys. Have a nice rest of the day :)**

**-Cosmo**


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